Over the past few decades roles of sexes have changed drastically. To an extent even the standards both genders are held at and the expectations we have from both have been morphed. However, no matter how much the society revolutionizes there will be certain masculine traits which both men and women will agree to hands down. It is these traits which will always make men and women both stand apart from each other. This isn’t about backward thinking or outdated ideals. This article is not about me trying to instill my definition of an ideal man into your head, but rather questioning your beliefs.
It is very easy for any man to puff his chest and prove ‘machismo’, but it is his innermost beliefs and mindset which make him a real man. These are his fundamental characteristics which will be shown by his words and actions. It is his strength and reliability which makes him stand out from the rest.
Sometimes women are part of relationships in which the man actually has more baggage then them and is not willing to share his partner’s burden, but expecting her to share his. The baggage could be emotional, result of past events or even financial burden. If you are dating someone or like someone, there are few traits this man should have, which makes him a keeper. I am not really saying that start judging every man in your life, but do think about these four qualities that make a real man listed below and decide for yourself if this man is worth your time, energy and affection.
4. Real Men Take Action
A real man knows when to take action. He understands the importance of taking things in his own hands and taking action when required. We must have all come across men who are complaining about how things are not working out at work, how he would like to lose weight and how he would like to own a nice place and so on. But it is a real man who understands the responsibilities that come with being a grown man. You will not find him whining about things which are not going right for him, instead he will judge the situation and see what he can do about it.
Off course it is okay to complain once in a while, but losing one’s temper due to undisciplined thinking and uncontrolled emotions is not a manly trait at all. Only boys complain and not men. For the longest time good girls have been getting attracted to bad boys, often such relationships just leave them with a lot of emotional baggage. Although a man’s word should be like a bond but pay attention to his actions as well. If this guy is all words and no action consider it a red flag.
- A real man won’t be afraid to climb the mountain and falling
- He will put his money where his mouth is.
- He will not talk about fixing things, but will actually fix them.
- A real man would not be hesitant to take action or look for others approvals before he does anything. Instead, he will be confident enough to take action and own his decisions.
3. Real Men Respond
Boys react, real men respond. Any responsible grownup understands how others around him, especially his loved one are affected by his words and actions. This statement is true for both men and women. Women are generally known to suppress their feelings and think before reacting. However, when it comes to men they don’t think before reacting in anger. Often this bursting out can be even blamed on anger and phrases like “Oh, I wasn’t able to think clearly” or “Whatever I said was said in anger”. Do they realize how this emotional vomiting of words actually affects their wives or kids?
A real man knows how to handle the situation in an honorable manner, if it doesn’t go in his favor. He would not get into physical or verbal altercations to show his displeasure. Similarly, he is not the one who will just shut down. Some men tend to go all quiet and they might just leave the situation for a while to fix on its own. He might go for a night out with his buddies or just chose not to respond completely. Neither is the right manner in which a real man who is connected to his real feelings responds.
- A real man knows how to discipline and filter his thoughts and words
- He shows patience and maturity by responding, and not reacting.
- A well thought response requires meta-cognition and is not instinctual. That is why I said on top boys, react and men respond.
- A real man will be responsive to your needs, and he will see how a woman fits into his routine.
- If you need him he won’t see it as an inconvenience rather he will make your need his priority.
2. Real Men Never Project Their Faults Onto Others
No relationship is perfect and no man is perfect either. Well neither are women! We are humans and not saints; we all lack somewhere and have our flaws. If a man thinks there is nothing wrong with him and is not willing to examine his defects, there is something majorly wrong with him. You might have come across men who somehow find a way to blame their coworkers, time, luck, their spouses or even parents at time for everything that ever went wrong in their life. Being able to look inside, correcting their flaws and moving forward is the real sign of maturity.
Real men practice transparency. This means they are not afraid to admit their mistakes and don’t walk around with a mirror in their hand. Some men tend to get all defensive every time a problem arises. They don’t hesitate to point fingers at their partner and make it all look like their fault. On the other hand, real men believe in transparency and have a non-defensive attitude. They won’t be afraid to admit how they feel or their fears and mistakes for that matter.
- Real men handle confrontations well. They will acknowledge when they are wrong and take responsibility for their mistakes.
- If a problem arises in one’s relationship real men would not be afraid to take a good look in the mirror before accusing their partners.
- It is easy to project your faults onto others, but real men are willing to work with their partners at solving these issues.
- Real men will handle confrontations well without getting into judgments or insults; instead they try to tackle the situation without devolving into personal attacks.
- Remember, if you find yourself in a relationship where your partner always points fingers at you every time anything goes wrong, you need to rethink. This is a major red flag.
1. Real Men Have Goals
Real men are passionate about something in their life. It could be a cause, a relationship goal or even a career oriented milestone. It could be absolutely anything. If a man is focused about something, tries his best to achieve it and finally gets it; it shows a lot about him. It shows he is disciplined and focused.
He has a cause and he cares for it. It doesn’t have to be something like eradicate world hunger, it could simply be to reach a certain place in life, to be someone or even become a better person.
- A real man will always have a passion for something and he will peruse his passion.
- Persistence and diligence are two qualities which make real men stand apart from the rest.
Some More Qualities to Look for in a Man
Now remember every man is different. No man will be a complete man. Here are some more qualities to look for in a man which are all positive traits and show he is a good man and a keeper.
- A real man will be responsive to your needs
- A real man never adds insults to injuries
- A real man is secure and confident and will never be suspicious without a cause
- A real man will take care of his appearance and health
- A real man will not try to fit into the stereotypes as he is already confident of who he is.
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- It is very easy for any man to puff his chest and prove ‘machismo’, but it is his innermost beliefs and mindset which make him a real man. These are his fundamental characteristics which will be shown by his words and actions.
- Off course it is okay to complain once in a while, but losing one’s temper due to undisciplined thinking and uncontrolled emotions is not a manly trait at all. Only boys complain and not men.
- A real man won’t be afraid to climb the mountain and falling. He will put his money where his mouth is.He will not talk about fixing things, but will actually fix them.
- A real man knows how to handle the situation in an honorable manner, if it doesn’t go in his favor. He would not get into physical or verbal altercations to show his displeasure. Similarly, he is not the one who will just shut down.
- Real men practice transparency. This means they are not afraid to admit their mistakes and don’t walk around with a mirror in their hand. Some men tend to get all defensive every time a problem arises. They don’t hesitate to point fingers at their partner and make it all look like their fault.
