Out with old, in with the new!
If you realize that the two of you had a lot of stuff in common, like similar interests and a lot of mutual friends, then it’s not going to be as easy to get over them. There’s always going to be a friend who’ll mention his name unintentionally, or you might bump into him at the local bar where you both hang out a lot. Seeing him every time will bring back memories of dejection and sadness all over again. You may think about going into hibernation altogether but there’s a better option. There are probably thousands of friendly people out there waiting to get to know you, or just to meet new people.
You need to change your outlook and step up your social ladder. You don’t have to lose your good friends who happen to be his friends too, I’m sure they’ll understand what you’re trying to do. There’s always time to meet new people and adopt new hobbies, you’ve just got to have the right attitude and tell yourself you can do it. In short, keep yourself so busy that you barely have time to stop and feel sorry for yourself.
Have a heart-to-heart with a trusted one
Bottled up emotions are sometimes the most dangerous ones. We suppress all our feelings of hurt and bury them deep down, telling ourselves not to cry and that we’re ok. The truth is, this is not the way you heal. Healing only takes place when you confront the bitter sad truth, let it walk all over you and eventually, the feeling subsides and you feel brand new. Yes, it’s gonna hurt but what are best friends for if not for lending a shoulder to cry on. Have a deep conversation about the guy who doesn’t love you back, how you longed for him to return the same feelings.
Tell her how he walked away and never looked back and how lonely you felt. It will sound ridiculous but get a good cry out of it, vent out your feelings of rejection and of feeling unloved once and for all. Then take a deep breath and let it all go. Hug your bestie and feel safe in the knowledge that there are plenty of other people who love you and care for you.
Plenty of fish in the sea!
Once you start to feel like the guy you love is slowly but surely fading from your heart, don’t resign yourself to staying single. If there’s a guy who seems genuinely interested in you and seems like relationship material, go on and agree to meet him for a quick coffee. It may seem impossible to ever feel the same way for someone again, but never say never! Have faith in your heart. However bruised it maybe, it still has the capacity to love people. Even if you don’t feel too attracted, it’s alright. At least you got to hang out with someone nice who made you feel special and wanted.
Most of the time, loving someone who doesn’t love you back seems like the end of the world. We feel crushed and we think we’ll always be affected by this heart-ache. True, but only to the point of how we choose to react and rise out of our misery. Your actions and reactions to this phase in your life will probably shape the kind of person you will be tomorrow. You may realize that you deserve a lot better, and move on to find your soul-mate, or you’ll carry the hurt with you and turn into a cynic who doesn’t believe in love altogether. Whatever route you choose to take, just remember to love yourself first always, and never settle for any less than you deserve. There’s always someone out there who loves you, just the way you are.